# Accepting an apology --- [[Be generous in accepting an apology offered to you in good faith.]] [[Accept a heartfelt apology with simplicity and grace.]] [[It takes courage to thank someone for apologising, but it is important not to dismiss the apology and in doing so cancel the effort at repair that a genuine apology is.]] [[Do not dissect the other person’s apology.]] And [[Do not use a person’s apology as a springboard to say more.]] Whatever you do, do not *demand* an apology. [[Demanding an apology is counterproductive.]] [[“It’s just when the other person is being the biggest jerk that you are called upon to be your best self.”]] [[When hoping for an apology, it is not helpful to hold the other person responsible for causing your feelings.]] Remember, [[We are responsible for our own behavior. But we are not responsible for other people’s reactions, nor are they responsible for ours.]] There is an element of [[Yang compassion|yang compassion]] to accepting an apology. [[It is not useful to allow a wrongdoer to rely on excuses and psychological rationalisations, as this invites people to avoid responsibility and accountability for the harmful consequences of their decisions and actions.]] This is not good for either party in the relationship. If the other person does offer an apology, a good way of accepting is to say: [[“Thank you for the apology. I appreciate it.”]] **You do not need to say it is ok.** You do not need to [[Forgiveness|forgive]] them. Someone offering an apology should not expect you to forgive them, or to reassure them . If they do, this is another harm in itself. If they are expecting forgiveness or reassurance, then who was the apology for? For you? Or for them? [[Accepting an apology does not mean you are finished talking about a painful issue or forgive the other person.]] [[Accepting an apology is a way of saying there is a future in which something other than anger and resentment is possible.]] [[In general, it is best to accept an apology with a generous spirit and to see where the relationship can go from there.]] --- %% ## Reference ```dataview list from [[]] or #accepting-an-apology and !outgoing([[]]) and -"Templates" where file.name != this.file.name sort file.name ASC ``` --- ## Archive - %%